When life is consistently rough: Coping mechanisms and ways to survive

One of the reasons why  I started this blog, is because two years ago, the beginning of this chapter began. This chapter of my life started with physical pain, and from there, paragraphs of mental illness, academic struggles, relationship issues, spiritual conflict and health issues. I understand that these are problemspeople have throughout most of their life, but for me it honestly just all began suddenly seeming to overlap one another and leaving very little breathing space.  You know, that period of normality, or even just the stability of knowing things are manageable and not too distressing kind of disappeared. I understand that it must sound very annoying, whiny and negative but I do think that there comes a point in people’s life where bad things happen all at once and you find yourself just saying “please God give me a break”!

When things start to look up and you can finally see some type of end goal, exit point, it ‘s as if something crappy always follows that sends you falling back down the stairs of progress again. It absolutely sucks and I think at some point you must learn how to be able to find joy despite your circumstances.

When my circumstances are utterly disgraceful and dire, for weeks, months or even years my coping mechanism is to respond emotionally , just as I would on a day-to-day basis if my life was mainly predictable, however, it is almost impossible to be highly reactive to negative event on an everyday basis when your life consists of predominantly negative events.

Why? I think this is probably obvious, because it’s just natural that you will become chronically depressed, anxious and severely unhappy with the quality of your life, in all fairness though, it can become a little bit confusing because we are just reacting in a way that we would usually if we were not going through a hard time. So, it leaves you with the question, what do I need to do to get through this hard time and not become depressed?

Honestly, I don’t think that there is a simple answer to that. I believe in God, so praying is something that can’t just happen occasionally, it needs to occur every single day even when I’m angry at God for allowing things to happen that I would rather not have experienced. Praying strengthens the spirit and God really does hear our cries of sorrow and collect our tears, it is so difficult to pray when you are angry at life but I do believe that it is our most powerful weapon against our circumstances. It has helped me overcome the most painful time and delivered me into more positive and successful times that I prayed for during those difficult moments

The next point is more of an  everyday practical approach to solving unpleasant emotion. It’s the very saying that we really do have to choose how much emphasis you decide to put on events in our everyday life, whether it’s what people have said, or what people have done to us, what we have done wrong, whatever the issue, the amount of emphasis you put on events will affect our emotional well-being. When we had lives that were manageable, we could afford to put too much emphasis on negative events every occasionally, with every event began the negative no more energy is left. How do we stop doing this? I’m not going to pretend to know how to do it, truthfully, I don’t know. I revert to depression as a coping mechanism when I’m feeling bad about things that are negative in my life, and which is a cycle I know must  be broken if I am going to survive hard times.

I think at some point it becomes a necessity to enter survival mode, to channel the mindset of somebody who is trying to survive being hunted down, living in drastic temperatures and surroundings that provide them with little comfort. You utilise your strengths, compensate for your weaknesses, and avoid leaving yourself open to attack. Depression will definitely leave you open to attack, the negative experiences are hunting down but by using your strengths, e.g. prayer, and compensating for your weaknesses and leaning on other people’s support, reading self-help books, counselling, or just trying your very hardest to not put as much emphasis on negative events too much how I will try to survive  this time as best and efficiently as i can and I hope it helps you too.

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